Friday, 26 September 2014

The way of the Lord

Naomi absolutely hates to wash her hair. Whenever I start lathering shampoo on her hair, she will scream her head off and cry hysterically (ok, maybe i'm a being little dramatic here, but it is somewhat to that extent). She is at the stage where she doesn't want to put on diapers and clothes (if given the chance!) and I remember my mother-in-law telling me that to get Naomi to put on her diaper, she actually told her that the birds would come and peck on her if she doesn't. And it worked! So, by the same rationale, I could scare Naomi and get her to comply! I then animatedly cooked up a story of monkeys coming to pull Naomi's hair should she not wash it and she fell for it! She willingly allowed me to wash her hair and kept saying that the monkeys were coming. I was ecstatic, for once, washing her hair was a breeze. However, my happiness was short-lived. 

Throughout the day, Naomi kept repeating to me that 'hu hu come, 怕怕' (the monkeys were coming, she was afraid). So much so that she refused to nap and sleep at night. She has even broken down in tears, fretting over the coming of those monkeys. I had to constantly assure her that those monkeys weren't coming and that I have had chased them away. Even then, I couldn't fully assuage her fears. While I was comforting Naomi, the spirit of God came upon me and spoke gently to my heart that this was something I needed to repent of and to ask of forgiveness from God and my daughter. 2 Timothy 1:7 came to mind. 'For God did not give us a spirit of fear or timidity, but one of love, power and self-control.' Who was I to instill fear into my daughter's heart to get her to obey? This is definitely not the way of the Lord. We have a loving Father who would not strike fear into our hearts just to get us to obey Him. He is a God of love and grace. I was immediately convicted of my sin and asked God and Naomi to forgive me. Thankfully, after two days, Naomi was sufficiently assured that the monkeys weren't after her and wasn't afraid. This was a priceless lesson that I have learnt in my parenting journey. Truly, the spirit of God leads and guides even though often times, I am clueless as a new parent. It is a reminder for me to lean upon the Lord in this parenting journey. I believe that by His grace, I will discover more of my Abba Father's heart for me, His child. 

Sunday, 8 June 2014

Reflections and lessons learnt

How time flies! It's been... How many months?! Naomi will be turning 14 months tomorrow and i have, by the Lord's grace, survived at being a SAHM for the past 14 months! ;p Actually, I think 'survived' would have done injustice as a description of my journey as a SAHM. I must say that there are many moments of joy and sweetness watching my little one grow and mature. And I celebrate and thank God for this gift of life that He has bestowed upon Kevin and myself. During the course of this time, there are many precious lessons that I have learnt and am still learning. Just thought of penning them down as a reminder to myself and as a thanksgiving to God my father.

Firstly, I truly thank God for His protection and love towards Naomi. I am convicted that God sends his angels to watch over Naomi, and all of His children. Several times, Naomi encountered dangerous situations whereby she fell off the bed and nearly hit her head upon the sharp edge of my bed (it's just split-seconds :-/), but the Lord somehow shielded her and she has always scraped through each incident with merely a bad scare. Not that I should thus let my guard down and be careless, but every time something like this happens, I know in my heart that it is the LORD who has protected her. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him! Truly, God is merciful and He is the LORD who neither slumbers nor sleeps. And He keeps watch over His people. I can only thank Him!

Another lesson that I have learnt and am still learning is to be faithful. To be faithful not only in big matters, but more importantly, to be faithful in the small matters, wherever the Lord has called and led. During this season of my life, I feel that the Lord has called me into 'obscurity'. The Lydia in me wants to do 'great' things for the Lord, wants to be in the forefront, in the battlefield. But God is teaching me to be faithful to HIM, even while changing diapers, cleaning the house, singing baby songs, doing the seemingly insignificant, to do ALL unto Him and to be faithful to Him. Somehow, the Lord is doing a deep cleansing work in my heart to rid me of all ambition. Truly, like what the  psalmist has so beautifully penned, 'like a weaned child with his mother, is my soul like a weaned child within me'. To be at rest in the Lord and to serve Him cheerfully and obediently even as a SAHM.

By the grace of God, He has done something in my heart to get rid of envy or strife. As a mother, I have limited time and energy to serve. Sometimes, I do wish that I can do more, meet more people, minister to others etc. Yet, I do not have the capacity to do so. I thank God that He has brought others alongside me to minister to others. The old me will probably have felt envious or maybe even intimidated. But, unknowingly, the Lord has done something in me such that I rejoice and praise God for fellow co-labourers in Christ! It doesn't matter who does what or how much, as long as we are faithful to His call and the Lord's kingdom is advanced, I praise the Lord. It is the Lord who has begun that work in my heart and I pray that He will continue to mold and shape my heart to be humble and completely His.

Perhaps, more than for the development and growth of Naomi, God has called me to stay home to mold me first. He is the potter and I am the clay. I am His child and He is my Abba Father who loves me and cares for me first, even before Naomi. My prayer is that I may grow deeper and deeper in love with Him, such that my baby will be drawn to know the passion of my heart.

Loving you always, Naomi,