How time flies! It's been... How many months?! Naomi will be turning 14 months tomorrow and i have, by the Lord's grace, survived at being a SAHM for the past 14 months! ;p Actually, I think 'survived' would have done injustice as a description of my journey as a SAHM. I must say that there are many moments of joy and sweetness watching my little one grow and mature. And I celebrate and thank God for this gift of life that He has bestowed upon Kevin and myself. During the course of this time, there are many precious lessons that I have learnt and am still learning. Just thought of penning them down as a reminder to myself and as a thanksgiving to God my father.
Firstly, I truly thank God for His protection and love towards Naomi. I am convicted that God sends his angels to watch over Naomi, and all of His children. Several times, Naomi encountered dangerous situations whereby she fell off the bed and nearly hit her head upon the sharp edge of my bed (it's just split-seconds :-/), but the Lord somehow shielded her and she has always scraped through each incident with merely a bad scare. Not that I should thus let my guard down and be careless, but every time something like this happens, I know in my heart that it is the LORD who has protected her. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him! Truly, God is merciful and He is the LORD who neither slumbers nor sleeps. And He keeps watch over His people. I can only thank Him!
Another lesson that I have learnt and am still learning is to be faithful. To be faithful not only in big matters, but more importantly, to be faithful in the small matters, wherever the Lord has called and led. During this season of my life, I feel that the Lord has called me into 'obscurity'. The Lydia in me wants to do 'great' things for the Lord, wants to be in the forefront, in the battlefield. But God is teaching me to be faithful to HIM, even while changing diapers, cleaning the house, singing baby songs, doing the seemingly insignificant, to do ALL unto Him and to be faithful to Him. Somehow, the Lord is doing a deep cleansing work in my heart to rid me of all ambition. Truly, like what the psalmist has so beautifully penned, 'like a weaned child with his mother, is my soul like a weaned child within me'. To be at rest in the Lord and to serve Him cheerfully and obediently even as a SAHM.
By the grace of God, He has done something in my heart to get rid of envy or strife. As a mother, I have limited time and energy to serve. Sometimes, I do wish that I can do more, meet more people, minister to others etc. Yet, I do not have the capacity to do so. I thank God that He has brought others alongside me to minister to others. The old me will probably have felt envious or maybe even intimidated. But, unknowingly, the Lord has done something in me such that I rejoice and praise God for fellow co-labourers in Christ! It doesn't matter who does what or how much, as long as we are faithful to His call and the Lord's kingdom is advanced, I praise the Lord. It is the Lord who has begun that work in my heart and I pray that He will continue to mold and shape my heart to be humble and completely His.
Perhaps, more than for the development and growth of Naomi, God has called me to stay home to mold me first. He is the potter and I am the clay. I am His child and He is my Abba Father who loves me and cares for me first, even before Naomi. My prayer is that I may grow deeper and deeper in love with Him, such that my baby will be drawn to know the passion of my heart.
Loving you always, Naomi,