A friend casually asked me one day if given the opportunity to do it all over again, would I choose to have personal freedom or kids. Without a second thought, I chose kids. However, if I could do it differently, I may choose to have kids slightly later to enjoy more couple time with my hubby (but Naomi, we DO NOT regret having you and we love you lots!).
Why kids and not freedom? I have to admit that having kids take up a lot of time and energy (unless one decides to 'outsource' his kids, but then what is the point of having them then?) and as my previous posts have mentioned, it has a great impact on my personal and family life. No longer can I do whatever I please, go wherever I want, as and when I desire to. I have to think about my little one and look out for her well-being. I have to make sacrifices. Therein lies the beauty of having children. I learn to put my husband's and daughter's interests above my own. I learn to serve them (many times it means not getting my 'own' way). I learn to become less self-centered and self-absorbed. I learn to be more patient. In the process, I become (I hope it is true, that you will have to ask my husband!) a better person (and more importantly, more like Christ). When you have a child, you learn to love the child unconditionally and would do all for the best interests of the child. One would not be able to fully comprehend this unless one becomes a parent (my husband says he loves our daughter sooooo much and would die for her, he has never ever said that to me! :p). It is also through parenting that I catch a glimpse of my Abba Father's heart for me. Even though it has only been about four and a half months, but I know that my greatest joy would be to see Naomi (and my future kids to come) love and serve the Lord. It would be great if they become full-time servants of the Lord!
It is meaningless to live for oneself. After all, we would all die one day and what would we live behind? Who will remember us? Will our lives make any impact on others at all? Does it really matter that we get to travel the world (many peers have commented that they would rather travel the world than have kids)? The people in whom we can greatly impact for Christ are our children. They live with us, watch us and emulate us. 24/7. It is God's charge to us to be fruitful and multiply! And more significantly, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up...' (Deut6:5-9) It is a high calling to be a parent and to disciple our children. We never know, they may become the movers and shakers of the next generation or even their community, whatever the Lord calls them to. It is exciting to join God in His work of making disciples of our children! We may get all the freedom in the world and get to enjoy all the luxuries of the world, without bearing the heavy yet priceless responsibility of raising our children in His ways, yet at the end of it all, it may just be as King Soloman has said, 'vanity, all is vanity!'
I have to qualify that we should not have children simply for the sake of having them, or for the fear of growing old alone, else we will not have captured God's heartbeat for parents (and we will probably be parenting our children according to our own wisdom and ways). Until and unless we see God's call upon our lives to raise up a godly generation, all our efforts in parenting (or lack of) will be in vain.
Naomi, mummy prays that papa and mummy will have the opportunity to lead you to Christ.
Loving you always,